The passing of this man is a landmark in my life. From an early age, our house was filled with song, all kinds of songs and music. While others my age were listening to Elvis or the Rock invasion, I was (and still am) at heart a folk singing woman. I have watched and sang Pete Seeger’s songs as long as I can remember. I admired his playing the fretless banjo, his enthusiasm for the causes of peace and the environment. At concerts and in life, he knew we were better when we worked and sang together. I am richer to have “known” him.
The main themes in my life recently have been the understanding and letting go (or not) of attachments, mostly to things. Three years ago, I inherited the house my parents had lived in and loved for the last 35 years. It needed a lot of work, particularly dealing with water. If you dam water up it find another way to flow- emotions work the same way I think. Recently with the news in Sandy’s wake, we are well aware of what water can do!
I believe the house issues are in a stable state now but this exercise has showen me that taking care of the house and yard really is more than I can physically (and financially) support. I have loved this house and all the happy and trying times spent here. My parents loved it and the 1/2 acre yard. Dad had fabulous plantings of organic vegtables and beautiful flowers. His beds were never straight but a labryinth of circles and curves. I have noted before that I believe my Father’s approach to rolling with life was “When in doubt, turn the compost.” The rabbits now have a warren where his compost used to be. Ten years ago when he passed, his friends planted a Magnolia tree in his memory because he always wanted one. Now it towers high, producing those creamy white fragrant blossoms. How do I leave Dad’s tree? Mom and I put his ashes around it The reality of how little humans leave behind when they pass away- except stuff. Things my Mother treasured are of no real value or meaning to me- so do we continue to carry this stuff just because?
I have taken the path of sending the majority of belongings on to others through sale or donation. I have gotten to help some local charities I believe in which feels good. Like many of you I have seen my collection of books as friends that have been with me for years for reference or just seeing them reminds me of a lesson or event. My Father also collected books but his are cloth bond , old and fragile. Most I can’t sell for the price it would take to ship them. Again something treasured for years which has no tangible value. So far I have invited friends to come and take books that interest them – about 15 boxes gone so far. Books have been the hardest so far.
Getting the house ready to show is an odd experience because I removed all the personal pictures and nick-nacks that litter my life. It looks like my house but different. well folks ending for today. I am glad to blog again. I have not even had time to read blogs and I miss the snapshots of other lives from the blogosphere.
You may have read about the couple found dead in a motel room in Texas. They went on a trip to celebrate their wedding anniversary. The police have decided it was suicide. I find that more amazing than I can say. Dr Leslie Cargile was my doctor. She was intelligent, witty, compassionate, and conservative. Her husband, who worked downstairs I only met once but he seemed nice. They had two grown sons, a 1.4 mill house on lake sunset, a lucrative practice for 25 years and no major financial problems. Two really sweet older golden retrievers also visited the upstairs office area from time to time. I worry what happened to the dogs.
The police say there was no sign of struggle and her husband died first. I am at a loss to understand this. They left their cell phones at home- does that mean they planned this exit. They left a note for the dog watcher that they would be back on tues, knowing they would be reported missing when she did not show up for work on Monday. If I had not known this woman I would just have written the story off to another crazy couple. It leaves me with many questions but all I can do is say prayers for them, their children, all the patients left without a doctor, and their dogs. We all carry our internal struggles- be nice to one another.
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