Pain is not my friend

Pain is not my friend nor is it my enemy,  just a variable companion I have known for 30 years. Sometimes it is easy to ignore and to continue my plans or alter plans as needed but I keep moving along. Then there are darker days when breathing hurts, swallowing is impaired, moving my neck sounds like rice krispies or pop-rocks and my arms are weak. Do I believe in positive thinking– you bet I do and endeavor  to keep silver lining thoughts. I have learned that  a “negative” thought usually leads to another “negative” thought and the reverse is true. I have increased the wealth of traditional and non-traditional practitioners , eastern , western and native american. Please give me no advice.

So why do I tell you this – I am not sure but perhaps I will know as I write. One of the books I am reading is about toxic optimism which you will hear quotes from later. The chapter I’m reading is about her experience with breast cancer and the flood of pink and almost militant forced optimism. Woman saying how cancer was the best thing that ever happened to them because it changed their life and helped them to be more aware and alive. I can say pain and limitation have taught me a great deal – I would probably not be the woman I am today without the experience I have had but maybe I would be.

I do know I was always on the go – work hard, play hard. Glad to work that double shift. Work all night and go skiing in the morning. You get the idea. I was involved in two major car accidents that were not my fault and I was unhurt before THE car accident. I have always wondered if I had learned the lessons of this different, certainly more alive way of living before The accident if I could have avoided it. The law of attraction and all. Soooooooooooo  If God /Life is giving you warnings – listen carefully. That’s all – back to regular fair tomorrow.

10 thoughts on “Pain is not my friend”

    1. Thanks for your comment. It really helped to be able to speak about it. I try to just not mention it to keep from giving it too much focus but every once in a while I get over my limit. Flair-up gone now and back in the flow..


  1. The point in your second paragraph is interesting… without the experience you might not be the woman you are, but maybe you would. I was asked recently if I would live my life again and I immediately said “Yes”! But then I started thinking about what I would do differently; would different decisions have changed my basic character? I’d probably be just the same person at the end of the day!


    1. I was also recently asked would I make the same choices if I had it to do over – I said yes and then said maybe I could leave out x. I came to the lesson experience might have been different but the result the same. All I know is when I look in the mirror I like and love the woman that looks back. Seizing this day.


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